Today on P&P I want to take a step back from the OOTDs and talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot the past few months: moving to a new city. I went home for the first time since I moved to Seattle this past weekend. And while being there was this weird combo of– I feel like I stepped back into my old life, this is weird why is it so hot in October, and omg I’m loving all my favorite foods– it wasn’t until a few days back in Seattle that it really hit me. I moved. (And then I laughed because I’ve been in Seattle since July and it just occurred to me in October)
Today I woke up feeling nostalgic– wondering what my dog Kiwi is doing at home, what my friends are up to, and how my family is doing. I’ve grown up with the mentality of “fake it ’til you make it” and “smile through the pain” because eventually, after you’ve tricked everyone else, you might even trick yourself.
I’ve been called pretty brave for leaving everything I’ve ever known in order to take on my dream job in a completely unfamiliar city. I’ve also been traveling a lot, blogging more often, and filling my closet with fashionable must-haves. That’s led me to get the constant feedback of “you have such a fabulous life! You must be loving it!”
And on a good day, I feel #blessed. And on a bad day I feel totally miserable. So, here’s the low down on the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Getting out of your comfort zone: I’ve always had a love of blogging– and I never realized how good I had it with all my friends who were great at taking pictures. Moving to a new city, I had to put myself out there and get creative. Let’s just say my tripod and I are getting used to people jogging by and walking their dogs. Before I would have been mortified, now I just go about my business.
Trying new things: Being in a new place means everything is new! There’s not this sense of familiarity or laziness. That means that I’ve been doing things I wouldn’t normally do – like attend the Seattle night market or watch the Seahawks game on a Sunday afternoon at a sports bar.
Developing a sense of independence: When I lived in San Diego, I was very dependent– on my friends, my boyfriend, my family. Even for the littlest things! Like the idea of grocery shopping or running errands alone was traumatizing. Forget about eating alone. Now I’ve learned to appreciate my errand routine. I have yet to sit at a restaurant and eat alone, but eating breakfast with a book in hand has become peaceful.
Starting over: Being in a new city means starting over. You can be who you want to be. You can dress how you want to dress. I’ve really enjoyed revamping my style and changing my eating habits.
Feeling lost: There’s a lot of “unknown.” I’m kind of getting used to the feeling of being lost. Whereas my whole life I have known the restaurants to go to, the must-visit coffee shops, and basically everything, now I just feel lost and somewhat blind. Having to rely on yelp and other people is a little weird.
Not knowing anyone: I couldn’t decide if this would fit into the “bad” or “ugly” category. It is so HARD to make friends in a new city. And it is unbelievably frustrating being in city with so much cool stuff going on and then realizing that you don’t have a group of friends to do anything with. On the bright side, I will say that it has made me a lot more open to meeting new people!
Too much time to think: I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve laid in bed awake feeling miserable and wanting “my people” to be around me. There’s a lot of time to obsess over little conversations, dwell on insecurities, and wonder if I’ll ever build a San Diego life but in Seattle.
Faking it: As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, I’m not the type of person that likes to complain. I don’t like to dwell on bad stuff. So a lot of times I’ll smile and say “I’m great” instead of admit that I’m not feeling so great.
Seattle weather conditions: And no– I’m not talking about the gloominess or the rain. I’m talking about the effects on my skin. Ever since I’ve moved my “normal, occasionally acne prone” skin has gone crazy– dry, peeling, red, and disastrous. I’ve read a lot of articles online about people having the same problem, so I’m still working on fixing it!
So, overall, there are highs, lows, and extra lows to starting over. But I try to remind myself everyday how blessed I am to be in such a beautiful and have such an amazing job. How have you coped with moving to a new city?